It is a big temptation of
mine to compare myself to other women I see on Facebook and Instagram. I was
recently convicted of this again when I started to compare my wedding to a
friend’s wedding a month ago. I kept going back to look at her photos to see
how elaborate and well-planned her wedding day was and found myself trying to
re-convince myself that mine was better, prettier, etc. It was an awful thing
to compare! Especially because the things I was comparing were the minor parts
of the joyous celebration and I wasn't rejoicing at the greatest gift of the
day: marrying Erick and being with all of our loved ones! Somehow, I thought,
if I could believe that my wedding was the most DIY-amazing, I would be happy.
Comparison is a daily
struggle for me, made more difficult too because I also love going online and browsing
people’s photos, art, and blogs for inspiration. My creative parts love seeing
new and beautiful things, but my sinful heart can take something beautiful and
turn it into something so ugly. Comparison is also a struggle that creeps up on
me in such a sneaky way that I often don’t realize that I was comparing until
I’m knee-deep in discontent and anxiety. Comparison leads to discontentment,
which leads to bitterness or striving after empty things that ultimately, don’t
satisfy.
For my people have committed two evils: they
have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water. - Jeremiah 2:13
and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water. - Jeremiah 2:13
As women, I think we are particularly prone to comparison because of our natural disposition to look at ourselves through the eyes of others. We are constantly asking and wondering how we appear (physically and otherwise) to other people and how we stand in relation to others. We also look at other women and see how they appear and covet whatever it is that we think we lack. Today's social media makes comparison that much more tempting and the emphasis of apperances that much more important. At its worst, we feel momentary satisfaction when we think we are better than the women we are comparing ourselves to. I admit, my comparison does not usually result in happiness or praise for the other person; instead it usually results in me striving to find ways to surpass the other person (in beauty, talent, possessions), and when I feel I have surpassed her, I am temporarily happy. This constant comparison is enslaving, tears down women around me, and traps me into placing worth in worthless and temporary things. And yet, in the midst of all of this, I am reminded that Jesus offers living water that does satisfy and a freedom from this bondage of comparison.