Bezalel

See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills— to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts.-Exodus 31:2-5

I received a surprise text message from a close friend a couple of weeks ago that really encouraged me and came alongside a lot of thoughts that have been swirling around more in my head lately. In the text message, my friend wrote out Exodus 31:2-5 and encouraged me in my artistic abilities. It was a sweet and timely push.

Before moving to Louisville, Erick and I prayed and committed the next 3-4 years of our lives to the Lord's equipping and preparation for whatever He would have in store for us in ministry. We knew that for Erick this meant being a full-time seminary student; for both of us, serving at a local church, engaging in our city and investing in the relationships around us; and for me, we prayed that the Lord would help me explore my creative gifts and talents, use this time to grow them and prune them, and show me how I can use them for ministry.

After committing these things to prayer I have found it very intimidating to tackle what to do next. I have a bunch of interests in mind and a thousand ideas that I dream about more than actually practically settling on a specific plan for one idea to come to fruition. Baker? Coffee shop owner? Graphic Designer? All three rolled into one? What about timing? Resources? Can I actually even do it?

It's scary to think about all the could-be's and would-be's and if-only's, but when I reflect on how my past ideas and plans have turned out, it is wonderful to realize that, more often than not, they rarely turn out the way I pictured or planned.  In my pride, I get lost in my plans and always begin thinking I am in complete control of the outcome. God's plans somehow always surpass what I ask or imagine and remind me that I am not in control- and praise God, I am not!

So rather than panicking and busying my hands, trying to pick up stones to build my own path, I will first be still and give my hands to Him. Any path I try to build on my own is temporary and will most certainly crumble. I want my path to be His and for my eyes to be set on the right prize before I go any further.

How time flies!

(Today I am blogging from home. My cousin spoiled me with visits to cute cafes while I was in Taiwan, so here's a photo from Park Cafe in Taipei!)

How did it come to be June already? How time really seems to fly! Earlier this month, while I was reading update emails from friends, I thought to myself, "Wow! How did that already happen?! Didn't she just start her medical program? Wait, when did he graduate?" etc. Erick made a remark that time is flying faster to us, especially in this season of life. I wonder why. I know part of my wonderment comes from thinking that somehow other people's lives have stopped since we moved to Louisville, but life goes on and the world certainly doesn't revolve around us!

Two weeks ago we were invited to a really sweet couple's home for dessert. The couple is from a church we have been visiting the last couple of months. The husband and wife were so sweet and genuinely wanted to get to know us and we ended up chatting for a couple of hours with brownie and ice cream desserts in hand. Something the wife said stuck with me when I asked her about motherhood: "We always idealize the next season of life. But it is never how we think it will turn out. Motherhood was much harder than I ever imagined. People say marriage is sanctifying, which it is, but motherhood? Oh my, motherhood is so much dying to self! It's not what I imagined and some days it is really hard, but it is good. So good and much better for me." I thought she articulated season changes so well. I certainly idealized marriage! And there have certainly been days when I thought to myself, "How did it get so hard?" But it has been good. So good. Because I have learned more about my need of a Savior and the grace I need each day to love, serve, and follow my husband. The way the sovereign Lord has placed Erick in my life to grow me, sanctify me, and prune me to become a more godly and faithful woman has been such a priceless gift.

So how do I respond to knowing that I idealize/we tend to idealize the next season in life? Perhaps it is to not hold too tightly to the expectations (though some expectation is inevitable! And not wrong!) and to trust in God's sovereignty when the challenges come. To know that challenges will come, but to not let idealized pictures of the future dictate your/my next steps. To know that, though what you/I thought was best or what you/I thought would make you/me happy does not turn out, the Lord knows what truly is best and what is good. And for that we can rejoice. Nothing is outside of His good and perfect plan for us.

This kind of reflection about the future is a great reminder for us now as Erick transitions out of his previous job and as we wait patiently and pray for the Lord to provide a new job for Him. We recently recalculated and analyzed our finances and, praise God, are doing fine financially. We know this is a gift. We are convicted to constantly remind ourselves that it is not the gift (being financially stable) that ought to grant us security, but the Giver Himself. I pray that we may continue to depend on the Lord, seek Him and trust Him as this chapter closes for Erick and as we continue each day here in Louisville, Kentucky. Whatever comes next!

All the little things about a coffee shop

When I choose a cafe to reflect and write in, I am committing to staying 3+ hours in a cafe abiding, writing and thinking about the most personal things. As a result, there are a lot of little factors about a cafe's environment that are important to me and that I notice. Things like lighting, design, table size, temperature, and little trinkets on the counters or on tables.. they all add up to an environment that can contribute to and nurture what I want to do there. An especially well-designed and inviting interior spurs on lots of creativity and excites me to stay and work longer.

Erick helped me decide which coffee shop to go to this week and his simple suggestion took me to one of my new favorite places! I wanted to go somewhere close by and somewhere new but it was hard to think of what would fall into these criteria since all the cute little coffee shops I looked up were all in downtown. We have a Heine Brothers coffee shop very close by (having a coffee shop in walking distance to your home is a beautiful thing), but we've frequented it so much that I wanted to try something new. Turns out, just a wee bit farther is another Heine Brothers with texture, design and open and airy space that resembles nothing like the one near our apartment. It has a personality of its own and I love it! There's something about interiors with light wood that gets me every time...

I spent a good 4 hours at this coffee shop, at a long wooden table near the front counter, looking out into the rest of the open cafe. The light, the colors, the cute clay mugs and pots of succulents near me, the whirr of the espresso machines, the light chatter- it was all so perfect. I left satisfied, humbled and convicted by the Word and with a few more pages of my journal filled with verses and reflections.

I'm not saying I need places like these for my devotional time or to write, but I am thankful for the way they give me joy and remind me to rejoice in Him for all the little things. :)