Digging the empty cistern of comparison

It is a big temptation of mine to compare myself to other women I see on Facebook and Instagram. I was recently convicted of this again when I started to compare my wedding to a friend’s wedding a month ago. I kept going back to look at her photos to see how elaborate and well-planned her wedding day was and found myself trying to re-convince myself that mine was better, prettier, etc. It was an awful thing to compare! Especially because the things I was comparing were the minor parts of the joyous celebration and I wasn't rejoicing at the greatest gift of the day: marrying Erick and being with all of our loved ones! Somehow, I thought, if I could believe that my wedding was the most DIY-amazing, I would be happy.

Comparison is a daily struggle for me, made more difficult too because I also love going online and browsing people’s photos, art, and blogs for inspiration. My creative parts love seeing new and beautiful things, but my sinful heart can take something beautiful and turn it into something so ugly. Comparison is also a struggle that creeps up on me in such a sneaky way that I often don’t realize that I was comparing until I’m knee-deep in discontent and anxiety. Comparison leads to discontentment, which leads to bitterness or striving after empty things that ultimately, don’t satisfy.

For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water. - Jeremiah 2:13

As women, I think we are particularly prone to comparison because of our natural disposition to look at ourselves through the eyes of others. We are constantly asking and wondering how we appear (physically and otherwise) to other people and how we stand in relation to others. We also look at other women and see how they appear and covet whatever it is that we think we lack. Today's social media makes comparison that much more tempting and the emphasis of apperances that much more important. At its worst, we feel momentary satisfaction when we think we are better than the women we are comparing ourselves to. I admit, my comparison does not usually result in happiness or praise for the other person; instead it usually results in me striving to find ways to surpass the other person (in beauty, talent, possessions), and when I feel I have surpassed her, I am temporarily happy.  This constant comparison is enslaving, tears down women around me, and traps me into placing worth in worthless and temporary things. And yet, in the midst of all of this, I am reminded that Jesus offers living water that does satisfy and a freedom from this bondage of comparison.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” - John 8:31-32, 34-36

 

Jesus sets us free from the bondage of comparison, of jealousy and striving with His death on the cross. Because of His death, our eyes are opened to seeing that we have all been going after broken cisterns that hold no water. By His grace we can then draw near to God and come to know that only He, the One of infinite value and worth, can satisfy. And this sets us free.

 

Jesus has saved me, and at the cross He died for my sins. I am precious and loved. I have the Living Water, I will hunger and thirst no more. 

 

A particular passage from Scripture has brought great conviction and comfort as I struggle with the temptation to compare my life to others' lives. Toward the end of John 21, Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him and tells Peter to follow Him. He also tells Peter how it is that Peter will die. Peter responds by pointing to John, asking Jesus how it is that John will die, instead of focusing on the purpose that Jesus has for his own life. Jesus responds, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” - John 21:22

I am set free from looking and comparing my life to someone else's. He has a plan and purpose for me and I lack nothing. I follow Him!