Come, Spring


The weather here has been fairly all over the place and the only thing predictable about it is that it is unpredictable! Last Tuesday we had another surprise day of snow fall, which interrupted our continuous streak of 30 degree+ days the week prior. This snow quickly melted away by the late afternoon of the same day and the temperature has been slowly climbing back up again.Today the temperature hit the 60's, which is  so wonderfully warm and inviting after so many months of cold. There is a large group of daffodils planted near the entrance to our apartment complex that I have been watching every morning as I drive by on the way to work. They started to bloom early last weekend, drooped and shriveled the day it snowed, and today are in full, glorious bloom. I'm quite impressed by the little guys, their resistance to the cold and persistence in blooming despite the freezing temperatures makes me relieved and happy. I was so sad to see them start to wilt last Tuesday and so happy to see them pop right back up again today. Perhaps a small reflection of the life and hope in our Risen King, putting Death in its grave? :) I've heard so much talk about the gorgeous Spring season here that I'm rooting for the weather to finally settle down and the little flowers to come out. Come, Spring!

Erick and I decided to take a lovely 2.5 mile walk around Cherokee Park today! The park was highly recommended by friends and one even mentioned how beautiful the park looks in the Spring when the daffodils bloom. (Yes! I can't believe it either! It seems that daffodils grow in the wild here!) So we set off this afternoon looking for daffodils and other wildflowers, which, to our delight, were starting to cover the hills and creek beds! Pops of yellow everywhere in the midst of the dead leaves that hint at more life to come!














Lessons on Expectations
Sadly, Google Reader is on its way out, but Feedly has been my new blog feed organizer and I love it! It's visual, clean, and so fun to use. I do admit, having my reading organized in this new way does make me want to read more! :) This week I was so encouraged by a woman who wrote about her realization of the selfish expectations she had in her marriage. (Click here to read her post!)I was humbled as I realized that I also fall so perfectly into this same weakness and have had a blind eye to it for so long. It wasn't until marriage that I realized that I had so many expectations! My heart was deeply convicted and when I shared my new findings about my heart to Erick over dinner last night, a wide grin spread across his face. Erick has actually been trying to explain to me how difficult it can be when he feels like I have expectations he can't fulfill.Often times these expectations are not premeditated or even realized, but are exposed in our marriage when they aren't met. My sin creeps in when I allow disappointment to fester into bitterness. We both have expectations and we are learning that having them isn't necessarily wrong. Two different people with two different backgrounds, personalities, and ways of thinking are bound to run into many unmet expectations and misunderstandings. It is, however, wrong to let my disappointment set the standard of what is supposed to be objectively right and wrong in our relationship, and to set my husband up for failure when I have expectations that I never communicated or that end up being self-centered. We are learning that navigating through these different expectations requires much patience and grace. 

To take the woman's conclusion a little bit further, Erick and I came up with some additional conclusions of our own: I/we need to first examine to see if my/our expectations are good, neutral or selfish. If they are selfish or neutral, they may not be worth sharing at all and we need to repent. I/we also need to prepare my/our heart's response for when my/our expectations aren't met. In the emotion of disappointment, my natural and first desire is to have the expectation fulfilled for my own sake. Instead, I can seek to understand how Erick is expressing his love and service to me in his way, and be thankful. We can then decide together and communicate what serves one another. Erick lovingly shared that he really appreciates it when I tell him how I want to be served. In fact, it serves him greatly when I tell him, instead of having him having to play a game of "guess what Amy wants" because I want to be surprised. This also gives me opportunity to examine my expectations, share the ones that are good, and seek to set him up for success, and not for failure. Erick's job is not to fulfill my sinful desires and wants and he also can't read my mind! By God's grace we will grow in knowing each other and serving one another, fulfilling the right expectations, tossing out the bad ones and putting each other above ourselves, with God over all.

I'm so thankful for the blog posts I have been able to read from godly women who are daily relying on God's grace in the midst of their honest struggles! What a great demonstration of the body of Christ at work and the beauty of being encouraged by older women. There is such freedom in acknowledging weakness! Such freedom when  there is a God who saves.



2 comments:

Alvina said...

I didn't comment earlier when I read this cause I was still turning thoughts through my head. At first I was like, "Hmmm, but wait...!" But then I waited myself to see if my response was selfish!

I think the statement that I've been turning over the most is "game of 'guess what Amy wants' because I want to be surprised." I will admit it's a game I sometimes end up playing without knowing it and it often leads to disappointment! haha. But at the same time... there is the other side of the coin of your husband wanting to serve and love you by "guessing" what you want and surprising you -- because he knows that what you love! Granted - that is an aside from the wife's expectations part. But when you stop building up those expectations, the surprises are even better! When they happen! Haha! :)

I have been sooo behind on blogging (and sharing such things), but I went to a women's workshop at my church (and I went to the wife one, there was career, mother, and single) and we got this handout that maybe I'll scan and share with you! It may be a great middle ground to this.

Amy said...

I absolutely agree, it is definitely good to stir up affections and pursue your spouse (and include the fun of surprises)! Thank you for balancing my post in bringing it up! I wrote this blog post because I realized that I sometimes swing too much to my expectations (and the world too often nurtures these unrealistic and self-centered expectations) and forget that they can really bring sin into what is a good and godly thing :) I'm all for the pursuit!

Alvina, it's great to have other married sisters like you speak into my life! Thank you for reflecting and sharing with me!

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